I'll be brief this week. Here is the first line:
"Hopping on a freight out of Los Angeles at high n0on one day in late September 1955 I got on a gondola and lay down with my duffel bag under my head and my knees crossed and contemplated the clouds as we rolled north to Santa Barbara."
It's a loose first line. It's long. Lacks punctuation. Free verse. Rolling and continuous. Is it effective? I vote yes, but would be interested in hearing others' perspectives. And . . . of course, this is the opening line to Jack Kerouac's The Dharma Bums.
**Mac’s two cents **:
What a complete mess of a first line! I can’t decide if I like it or hate it. But good grief, let’s diagram this puppy just for kicks. (It's been twenty years since high school freshman English, so I’ll welcome any corrections from any English teachers out there…)